When you are expecting a child so many emotions wash over you. Feelings of excitement, joy, anxiousness, and even nervousness plague your mind and heart. You know having a child will bring changes to your relationship but you don’t know how exactly. For my husband and myself, as well as many others the adjustment can be immense.Parenthood, if you let it, can put a strain on a couple’s relationship: intimacy decreases, arguments arise, sleep deprivation sets in, and the world as you knew it is no longer in sight. So here are some tips to help you and your partner adapt to the dynamic changes children bring to a relationship:
- Involve your significant other! A lot of times we as women think we can do everything ourselves or RATHER do everything ourselves because our partner’s “don’t do it right”. No! Show them how to change the diaper, how to prepare the feedings and so on. As the kids get older they will adjust and adapt! Try not to be too picky because after all they are helping out, and if they do it differently than you do, DON’T criticize them.
- Don’t be so focused on your role as a mom, that you forget your role as a life partner. Kids are time consuming, and oftentimes relationships get put on the back burner left unattended. What happens when you leave a pot unattended on the stove? Its burns, in the case of a relationship it goes bad! Take time for each other every day! Even if it’s only for a couple minutes. I can guarantee that your partner will appreciate your efforts. Strive to have date night every week. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, honestly you don’t even have to leave the house! It can simply be a blanket on the living room floor with some snacks, or working out together (if that’s your thing).
- Last, but certainly not least, communication! Make sure you are communicating with your partner. Everything doesn’t have to turn into an argument! It’s okay to agree to disagree sometimes. Discuss things together like “Should we always pick up the baby every time it cries at bedtime? Who will be taking turns with the feeding schedules and so forth? As the children get older one might feel he or she is too hard on the child. The other might feel he or she is too easy! You HAVE to talk things over in order to be on the same wavelength! See what your needs are in order to adjust to your baby’s needs TOGETHER and SHARE the load. It’s TWO of you!
A child being that it is a “reward” can change a marriage or relationship for the GOOD in the end! You both need time and balance to adjust to your new role as parents. Make it an enjoyable time and don’t expect too much from each other, as you’re both doing the best you can when it comes to raising your child. The same applies to those with children that are older and no longer infants or toddlers. STRENGTHEN your relationship as your children get older and keep the friendship with your partner strong and you will be better able to handle the challenges of parenthood!